You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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