Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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