For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
