First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
