Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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