im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
