...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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