I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Randomize
