do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
