i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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