There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
