If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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