If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
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