oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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