Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
