I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
