He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
