how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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