If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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