Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
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i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
last night I used snow as a chaser
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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