Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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