it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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