I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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