i barfeds in our rink
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
