im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
