it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize