We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize