oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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