I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
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