NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
