grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
