How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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