Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
