Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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