I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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