So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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