There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
