i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
