I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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