normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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