singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
