Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
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is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize