I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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