How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
