At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
