butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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