I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
