New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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