I met the friendliest cop last night
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
