found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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