Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
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I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So much rum. So many feels.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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