I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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