The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
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I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
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If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall