Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER