I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.