it was like his penis was on wheels.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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