I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
