Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
