I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
